I have cried so much. So much in the past 6 months more than I have in the five years before that.

When I was younger I used to hate people. To see all the bad, almost none of the good. I kept alone, shrouded myself in books. Then I transferred to a new school and I decided to change. Cut my hair changed uniforms, decided to be happier, more optimistic, more open, more friendly.

And now I’ve lost two people that I genuinely care about and its all my fault and I’m scared. I’m scared and I’ve been crying and I just hurt even though I know I shouldn’t because it really is all my fault

I’ve been crying, and crying and crying and crying and crying.

Please help me I don’t know what to do.

I think I’ll go back. I don’t want this. I don’t want this anymore

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