Something Long Gone

The clink of utensils on various china fills the air; a top layer of notes on the background sound of the rushing river beside.  I unfold today’s newspaper just as the waiter brought my coffee. He set it down and twisted it around. I mouthed my thanks with a smile. Fetching fellow he is.

I only really read the news for the husband. He likes talking about it over dinner rather than talks about who’s sleeping with whom. National politics rather than office politics, he always says and I really agree with him. Oftentimes officemates are more underhand than the actual politicians. It says a lot about our culture.

I put down the cup and flip to the next page with great effort. I never quite mastered the art of turning its huge pages. The horoscope section appears on the right bordered with huge dotted lines on all sides. It looks awfully tacky with the star symbols drawn to look like anime. In a moment of frivolity I read it; considering it as a break from the monotony of the recent congress dilemmas.

“An old friend or lover may contact you today. Do your best to keep your emotions at bay. Romance for you is easy, if not there, then it’s just around the corner.”

I wonder vaguely as to who it could be.

I am engrossed in my phone as I slip into the comforter beside my husband. He grunts at his noticing and wraps his arm around my waist, spooning me. I kiss him on the forehead and continue scrolling. The light is starting to hurt my eyes but I keep scrolling and scrolling on.

The tablet beeps and I am silently startled. No one messages at this time of the night anymore, not since I was a kid. I press the notification and your name slides out like a ribbon.

“i think im drunk”

I reply, “Oh? How come?”

“i drank”

“That’s great.” Sarcasm has always been one of my strongest points.

I stare at the screen wondering if you’d reply.

“i miss you” blips out onto the screen.

I bite my lip.

“I miss you too.”

I bite my lip hard.

“but still. fuck you so much” you reply.

And the only thing I can really say is:

“I know.”

I close the tablet and store it underneath the numerous magazines in the side table drawer. I turn off the lamp and snuggle myself in my husband’s form, wondering if this would ever have happened if I hadn’t read something so foolish in a moment of frivolity.